Is it me??

I dont know what has happen to me lately...
I really need someone to talk bout it and I'm still searching for the right person to talk...
This is because of my heart, although I was change a bit of my life but I still regret with my previous life and I still hurt while remembering it...
How come my life too far from what it should be??
How come I live without the light that should be my guide??
I hate the life that meaning fun for me before..
I hate of my self that never do duty that i should do...
At the late night I was crying when I remember what have I do before...
But the most important thing how come I feel ashamed bout my feelings??
I dont know where should I go and talk bout what I feel rite now...
Ya Allah, aku berharap aku terus mendapat hidayah mu untuk terus berubah dan tetap kan lah hati ku ke jalan mu ya Allah...
Hanya padaMu tempat ku mengadu...