It is all about heart...

errmmm...
quite out of writing here lately...
i'm quite bz...
bz??
is that right??
hahaha..
just joke..
bz with lepaking at forum hahaha...
my final project still like that...
oh god..
i'm so tension every time i think bout it...
i really have no intention to continued it...
i really...
i dont know what to say..
the things that i'm sure i'm still not yet recovered from a broken heart...
the broken heart from all the side of my life...
i need to rest my life for a few moment but i can't...
everyday i pray to forgot about him..
everything about him...
but i cant...
i cant do that because everytime i tried to forgot him, more strong this feeling for him...
i saw his body, his face, his eyes, mouth, nose, hand in other words everything of him inside my eyes..
i cannot remove him from my imagination..
from heart..
i dont know why...

last thursday (11 september 2008) was a history day for me when i frankly to admit my feeling to him..
oh god..
only god knows my feelings that time...
x malu..
but i dont know what to say...
i should be embarrassed to him because admit my feelings..
but i'm not...
in fact, i'm happy i've told him my feelings...
oh god i really love him..
but i know, he doesn't love me..
i tried to do everything to forget him but i cant...
he seems surprised with my sms..
and text me a message but i dont reply it...
it is hard to reply it because i know,after that he will not reply it...
maybe the things that i can do now to see his happy with his lover...
although its hurt my, but i can't do anything to get him..
his lover come earlier than me..
and i just know him after he declare with his lover...
oh god, Ur test is so hard for me...
it makes me sick...
although physically i'm great but mentally i'm critically ill ...
and i dont know the antidote of my illness..
the things that i'm sure my antidote will never wanted to restore me...
ok just things like this, if he comes to me than his heart same as me because inside his heart there are someone that he loves with wholeheartedly...
and i'm lost to that person...
really i'm lost...
i've tried to get him by told him bout my feelings but what i saw now, i'm lost...
i cannot blame the fate that make late meet him...
maybe i'm not his taste...